“hold off, Is This a Date?” Podcast Episode 102: The Chart

This week on “hold off, So is this a romantic date?” we are accompanied by Autostraddle Chief Executive Officer and

L Keyword

specialist
Riese Bernard
to talk about: The Chart. That’s right! This occurrence is focused on lesbian interconnectivity â starting up with buddies’ exes, friends hooking up with your exes, while the tradition developed by all of that crisis.

Come for the gossip, stay for all the psychological running. And before that enjoy a casino game that tests Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking wouldn’t normally.)

Thanks for the good comments after the premier! When you yourself haven’t but consider providing us with a rating or evaluate!

SHOW NOTES

+ 5 years ago Riese assembled an
Old Hollywood data
that’s the intersection of my passions.

+ Here Is
the essay
I reference in which We mention starting up using my roommates.

+ My personal crush from the week Mj Rodriguez released a music video for her song
“Something to state”
!

+ As somebody who has merely observed some symptoms of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush of this few days C.C. Babcock ended up being shocking in my experience whenever it proved she and Niles are not both homosexual. (Christina tells me they essentially however tend to be.)

Drew:

I might be very okay with it existing. I would never ever add another person without their unique authorization. However the thought of anytime somebody had been like, “concur that you may be connected with me personally,” I’d resemble, “Yeah, it’s the existence I resided. I don’t care about.” Is weird? Is that an issue?

Christina:

No, as if I wasn’t, i might feel poor not being. I might be like, “hold off, I am not sleeping?”

Theme tune performs

Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.

Christina:

Hi, I Am Christina.

Drew:

And thank you for visiting

Hold Off, Is This A Romantic Date?

Christina:

Wait, Is This A Romantic Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the big concerns. To begin with, could it possibly be a romantic date? Preciselywhat are times? Who happen to be times? Do we like times? These represent the kind of questions that people answer with this here very professional and beautiful podcast.

Drew:

I’m Drew Gregory. I’m an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, notoriously, a trans lesbian.

Christina:

I’m called Christina Tucker. I’m in addition a writer at Autostraddle. I will be a loud queer on the net. I will be getting better at explaining myself as a writer and, famously, a lesbian. Which is all of us. Which is whom the audience is.

Drew:

Yeah. And therefore our very own primary subject this week will be the Chart.

Christina:

I just believed it needed a sting. I’m not sure. That thought really dramatic, but In my opinion it needed it.

Drew:

Yes. No, please, kindly, kindly. Thank you, thank-you. No, no, no. The most effective level of drama.

Christina:

Thank you.

Drew:

Yeah. Therefore we’re referring to lesbian interconnectivity.

Christina:

I love that term given that it appears like you ought to resume the lesbians. It sounds just like the net connection actually operating.

Drew:

Yes. it is extremely advanced level, really advanced, but additionally ‘s been around since there is lesbians, i believe.

Christina:

Yeah. I do believe scholars would state whenever they discovered the first lesbian fossils, they discovered an information alongside of them created into the sand. And I also genuinely believe that’s what that movie is all about, proper? It’s about the chart? That motion picture with Kate Winslet and the mud fossils?

Drew:

Ammonite?

Christina:

Yeah, that is what it is more about.

Drew:

If only

Ammonite

involved cavern females. I would enjoy that lesbian motion picture.

Christina:

Really, when I haven’t viewed it, i will courageously claim that it actually was. Cool.

Drew:

Yeah. Since it is like we now have numerous lesbian duration parts, but we have now never gone straight back that much. And I also think it’s time we carry out.

Christina:

Why don’t we simply keep getting it furthermore back in time.

Drew:

Before we get to the primary topic, you’re nonetheless learning united states. And I believed that it would be enjoyable playing a casino game the place you dudes could really analyze Christina. Very all of our icebreaker because of this few days is actually a tiny bit game that I name “Would U-Haul.”

Christina:

I am, again, therefore stressed concerning this. This may just be the way i-come inside video game. This might be my personal video game mentality, just a little high-key, just a little stressed. Which is okay. We are all reading.

Drew:

In my opinion that’s fantastic. I think which will move you to more vulnerable, possibly.

Christina:

One of my personal favorite thoughts.

Drew:

Merely a horror, merely an intense horror. So that the manner in which “Would U-Haul” really works is actually i will explain a situation. Why don’t we call-it Christina fan fiction. And I’m attending pause after every small section becoming love, “Okay, Christina, i am aware which you have never ever stayed with somebody, do not want to live with somebody. But under these situations, would U-Haul?”

Christina:

And I will possibly say yes or we’ll say, “i am ready.”

Drew:

If you don’t â really, we will see right here. But i am thrilled. I believe I possibly damaged the rule.

Christina:

You’ve damaged the code? I’m thrilled.

Drew:

Why don’t we see how very long this requires. If in case you won’t ever do, i do believe you win? I am not sure exactly how you’ll find winners right here.

Christina:

I’m not sure that we now have winners when you look at the game of U-Hauling.

Drew:

Really, I am not sure any time you’ll accept that after this. And so I’m getting going.

Christina:

Reasonable enough.

Drew:

Okay. Very, Christina.

Christina:

Drew.

Drew:

You are at the pal’s marriage. Inspite of the multitude of romcoms you soaked up, you did perhaps not choose this wedding considering you’ll fulfill anyone because, really, this is simply not a romcom. This is the genuine and normal life of Christina Grace Tucker. You take the designated chair as they are glancing at your telephone as soon as you realize a lady at your table wants at you. She presents by herself as your buddy’s former babysitter. She actually is remained a friend associated with family, but she does not really know anybody there. She appears to be mid-forties and also a striking angular face. You start talking. She offers to allow you to get a glass or two. Once she stacks up, you understand she’s six feet large, 6â² 3â³ in pumps. So that you know what? I’m merely planning to stop there and start to become like, at this time, would U-Haul?

Christina:

I am intrigued. I’m fascinated because i may get put during that wedding. But up until now I am not U-Hauling anywhere.

Drew:

Cool. Which is totally reasonable. Totally fair. Okay. So you spend the whole marriage learning one another. There’s only an instantaneous spark and immediate chemistry. And certainly, you do hook-up as well as the gender is amazing.

Christina:

Tight.

Drew:

And thus this wedding ceremony was in Northern Ca. And that means you both expand your own remains for a few days to bang and explore and consume at restaurants and shag. And you supply to split the expense of the today joint room, but she laughs you off and is like, “Obviously maybe not, honey.” Therefore, the next 3 days are secret. You feel the wall space tumbling straight down. You’re falling quicker than you ever before have. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Very simply for clearness’s benefit, i am having a hard time imagining some sort of which we got three shock days off of work to go out with people i actually do not know. That appears bonkers. However if I did, good for myself. But I’m simply not U-Hauling at this point. It will likely be a no.

Drew:

Great. Okay. That is great. You simply came across. I have it. I have it. Okay.

Christina:

Thank you so much a whole lot.

Drew:

So she returns to New York and you return to Philadelphia.

Christina:

That is where We reside.

Drew:

And you are texting continuously. That’s where you live and it’s also where this lady lives. And you are texting on a regular basis and you see one another multiple times a month. She actually is extremely active together with her work, but she’s rapid purchasing you a train solution to help you come see the lady and stay at her gorgeous brownstone in Fort Greene. Immediately after which 6 months go. And another night if you are off to supper, she requires you to move around in with her. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

And relocate to Ny? I really don’t really like New York. No, I am not transferring at the half a year tag. I am not undertaking that, no.

Drew:

Okay, okay. Totally, totally, entirely. Wow. Okay. So that you keep matchmaking long-distance. She understands that you want some time and this woman is willing to wait a little for you. Even more months pass. Its now been over a-year. Your own property owner tells you that they’re offering your house to a developer who is installing condos, so that you are unable to renew it. You’ll want to discover an innovative new place. Your own now girl informs you that no force, but the woman offer however stands. Would U-Haul?

Christina:

Okay. Now, I would U-Haul for 2 explanations.

Drew:

Yay! Fine. Kindly inform us.

Christina:

Mostly, in some sort of whereby my personal property manager ended up selling my house to develop it, my property owner is now my best friend, to make sure that may seem like something moved wrong within our relationship. And I may want to just leave Philadelphia anyway. Incase I get to maneuver in using my sweetheart over here, that looks great. That’s okay. Completely fine. But yeah, i believe i would need an external power like a mean property owner.

Drew:

Which is thus â ok. Used to do believe might have to require property to get here, so I’m grateful I realized that.

Christina:

Yeah. That is what must happen to me initially.

Drew:

Well, i am grateful to understand what it takes. Very in theory, if perhaps you weren’t knocked out, how much cash more time?

Christina:

Genuinely, which could have gone on for quite some time. Philly and nyc commonly even that not one another. I acquired area over right here. We are moving back and forth. We’re having fun. I really could have leave that roll for a long time until I guess Shoshana can become the worst individual I know.

Drew:

I did not know Shoshana possessed your own home. Well, there you decide to go.

Christina:

There we go. Wow, that was thrilling.

Drew:

Well, thank you for playing.

Christina:

I’m pressured, to be obvious.

Drew:

And that I’m grateful that I’m sureâ¦ perhaps in case you are actually ever, therefore if anybody’s ever matchmaking you and wishes you to definitely relocate, maybe your own sweetheart told Shoshana to sell your house with regard to your commitment.

Christina:

Honestly the fastest means â somebody would only have to talk to Shoshana and get want, “only kick their out.” And she’d be like, “Yeah, yes. Of course.” That will be how it happened, though she don’t promote your house. Somebody would you should be like, “Can you merely kick the girl away therefore she will simply overcome it and move in beside me?” And she would say yes. One hundred percent she’d do this. That’s what friendship is actually.

Drew:

I really like that.

Christina:

Yeah, which is actually stunning.

Drew:

Well, I feel like we discovered a large number about yourself.

Christina:

Thanks. I believe like I discovered many about myself personally, also. Danger of homelessness is really the point that helps to keep myself relocating any scenario, i suppose. Wow.

Drew:

Well, that’s fantastic.

Christina:

Which was really thrilling. I’m equally happy to maneuver into all of our main phase because I think making reference to lesbian connection with this specific visitor, using this unique visitor, i believe it will likely be amazing, Drew. How have you been experiencing?

Drew:

I’m so thrilled. This is certainly a professional. And also by that, What i’m saying is an

L Keyword

expert, additionally a little bit of a specialized in topic in front of you.

Christina:

I believe a couple of things is genuine, my good friend. I believe two things can be true without a doubt. Can we want to introduce our guest or can we desire our very own visitor introducing themselves?

Drew:

I would love our very own guest to introduce herself.

Christina:

Guest.

Drew:

I will point out that all of our guest could be the only Riese Bernard.

Christina:

Guest, talk.

Riese:

Hi, I Am Riese. And is weird to be the guest!

Christina:

Yeah, really.

Riese:

I’d not to state anything. I didn’t also do it. I did so state circumstances. I’d to stay right here calmly.

Christina:

And you also were truly daring. Along with your confronts were appreciated.

Riese:

Thank you a whole lot.

Christina:

Though this might be certainly a sound average, Needs our audience to understand that Riese was creating some good effect faces during “Would U-Haul.”

Riese:

Absolutely various ways to be heard. You know what I mean? That is what i usually say. I’m the Chief Executive Officer of Autostraddle.com. And I also’m additionally on an undefeated kickball team. And that’s me personally. I have a puppy known as Carol. And I have actually dated men and women.

Christina:

Congrats on kickball!

Riese:

Thank-you. I am involved in individuals.

Christina:

Great. Adoring that. That is fantastic to take to this, this right here online dating podcast. Which is good.

Riese:

Yeah. In my opinion thatâ¦ will there be anything else?

Drew:

No, i believe that is great, Riese.

Christina:

Whatever you want to discuss.

Riese:

I really like raspberries, the fruit raspberries, and swimming pools.

Christina:

As opposed toâ¦

Riese:

You Are Aware an individual goes likeâ¦

Drew:

Its like when you hit. Yeah.

Christina:

Oh. Those are terrible, so I merely exhausted them from my head.

Riese:

Yeah. And that’s all.

Christina:

Great.

Drew:

Really, we straight away looked at you for this subject.

Christina:

That is true.

Drew:

Because first of all, certainly, queer women and non-binary folks in lesbian neighborhood have-been like, I’m not sure, sex with others whom their friends experienced gender with since a long time before

The L Term

had been ever before a string. But i actually do feel just like

The L Term

solidified a particular cultural idea of the data with Alice Pieszecki. I really felt like you might have a lot of understanding of this topic.

Riese:

It really is true. Two of the article writers, I want to state, of

The L Word

had this real information ones as well as their buddies these were drawing on wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i believe, had been one among these. She chatted to united states about it, they had created this. Because demonstrably, every person because author’s area had banged other people in the blogger â you know, as well as the lengthy internet of the generation of lesbians in la. And they also watched can these were like, “Let’s place it during the program.” Several ones are on the data. Like, some people whom â¦ like, actual everyone is in the chart as bull crap.

Christina:

That is wonderful. Which is the method that you learn you have made it.

Riese:

Is not that lovable?

Christina:

That will be fascinating for me personally.

Riese:

Therefore if you haven’t viewed

The L Term,

firstly, congrats. Secondly, it will become the centerpiece of one your head personality, Alice’s, apartment. This lady has almost everything over the woman wall. And it also is the title of a web site that they began known as ourchart.com that flopped. While the concept â¦ and it’s really during the pilot, i believe. Inside initial occurrence, Alice starts making reference to exactly how every person’s connected, because every person’s hooked up using this person. And I also can connect you, as if you’re probably only two degrees away from me. Which ended up being correct. Like, despite Dana, that has very limited knowledge because she had been a closeted tennis player, they nonetheless could actually link this lady. That is certainly true to life since it is genuine.

Christina:

That’s tradition. Yeah. That is what tradition seems like.

Riese:

Which is society. That’s queer tradition there. And from now on everyone else can make their own charts.

Christina:

Yeah. To make sure that was going to be my personal subsequent concern, was have either of you made a chart? Because I really don’t think i’ve, and I am sorts of now thinking like, that which was this just last year resting inside my residence for if I failed to generate a chart? Like, that was the point of that, really?

Riese:

I think i have done it during my diary, as like â¦ Because I like, I am not sure, planning details, i suppose, as a thought workout.

Christina:

Yeah, i do believe which is additionally why i will be surprised that I haven’t done it. I prefer the idea of categorizing situations.

Riese:

Appropriate. Yeah. Because it’s interesting. I am not sure why its so fascinating, however it is. It really is interesting as love, wow, a few of these people, they truly are connected. It is untamed.

Drew:

About tv series, once ourchart.com is devised, they will have an authentic data that individuals can add on stuff. And I also feel just like something you joked about on

To L and Back,

nowadays individuals state continuously is like, if this existed in a proper way, nobody would place their brands upon it, no one would feel at ease placing their particular names upon it.

Riese:

You would.

Drew:

I might. I would be really fine along with it existing. I’d never ever include somebody else without their authorization. Although concept of love, each time some one was like, “make sure you happen to be linked to me,” I would end up like, “Yeah, oahu is the existence i have resided. I really don’t worry about.” Is that strange? Would be that problematic?

Christina:

No, as if I found myselfn’t, i’d feel poor not-being â¦ I would be like, “Wait, I am not onto it? Like, i am sorry, exactly what?” No, that will actually deliver myself into lighting moral anxiety about who Im as you, what I’m carrying out. Are we interesting? Do men and women {like
Your Domain Name